What's So Fine About Art?

Welcome to Valentine's Day, the holiday on which restaurants are terribly crowded, and Ben & Jerry's, Haagen Daaz, and other pint-o-serving ice cream dealers make a killing.

But I'm not here to write about romanticism or loneliness, because I really have no use for either at present. Instead, I present to you a Clever Song - because I'm always in the market for clever.

The Old 97's were the first - and not last - group whose music I was introduced to based solely on a review. Rolling Stone's 2001 review of the group's fifth album, Satellite Rides, used the words "cowpunk," "bar band," and "insatiable melody," all qualities I was looking for in an obsession at the time. Add to that a suitable example of Rhett Miller's "deft way with one-liners" - "Do you wanna meet up at the Picwood Bowl?/ we could knock nine down and leave one in the hole" - and you had yourself a clever band.

When I went to purchase the album, I was delighted to find a bonus EP as well. In addition to the requisite b-side, there was a radio broadcast including songs from prior releases. * The band kicked off the set with "Barrier Reef," which to this day remains one of my favorite Clever Songs. I don't even know where to start - drunk, sloppy, and so damned true. I've included the lyrics below for your enjoyment, and wish you a better evening than Rhett's outing to the Empty Bottle. **

Barrier Reef - Too Far to Care (1997, Elektra)

The Empty Bottle was half empty, tide was low, and I was thirsty.
Saw her sitting at the bar, you know how some girls are,
Always making eyes, well she wasn't making eyes.

So I sidled up beside her, settled down and shouted, "Hi there."
"My name's Stewart Ransom Miller, I'm a serial lady-killer."
She said, "I'm already dead," that's exactly what she said.

So we tripped the lights fantastic, we was both made of elastic.
Midnight came and midnight went, and I though I was the President.
She said, "Do you have a car," and I said, "Do I have a car?"

What's so great about the Barrier Reef?
What's so fine about art?
What's so good about a Good Times Van,
When you're working on a broken,
Working on a broken,
Working on a broken man?

My heart wasn't in it, not for one single minute.
I went through the motions with her. Her on top, and me on liquor.
Didn't do no good, well I didn't think it would.

What's so great about the Barrier Reef?
What's so fine about art?
What's so good about a Good Times Van,
When you're working on a broken,
Working on a broken,
Working on a broken man?

When you're working on a broken,
Working on a broken,
Working on a broken man.

When you're working on a broken,
Working on a broken,
Working on a broken man.

* Yes, I am aware that I recently lambasted the Needlessly Included Live Track, but I grant the Old 97's an exemption for including a whole broadcast, featuring songs from prior releases. That, and they're pretty damned good live.

** Known also the venue in Chicago where I saw my first Jandek concert.